Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
