the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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