My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
