i just wanna soil my oats bro
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
