those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
