I'm so fucking centered right now
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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