I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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