I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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