No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
