You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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