haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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