Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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