eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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