i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
