Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's not a foreskin expert like you
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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