I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
