You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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