hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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