That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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