So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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