I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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