I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You were trust falling into bushes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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