I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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