woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
