Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Every concussion has its silver lining
How external is "for external use only"?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
