so let's talk penis.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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