Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
