i think i have two assholes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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