were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize