why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
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No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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