can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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