You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
