What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
