My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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