Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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