She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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