Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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