i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
