I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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