NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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