im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
