My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
