that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
