People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
