some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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