Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
