so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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