If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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