I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
