You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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