Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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