my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
