we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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