I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
