All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love you. Go after that dick
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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