It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
