1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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