Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
