my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
