Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
