I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
