For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
