I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
