Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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