Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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