I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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